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With Excitement and Terror.

Hello sister. I am excited. I am terrified.

In some ways it’s effortless to follow my WIL and in others ways it’s the hardest thing I can imagine doing. It’s power flows in my blood, pulling me like gravity. All that is left is to surrender…to let go of the safety mechanisms I have created to secure my sense of safety and comfort. Ha…that’s all.

When did this journey start? When I was born? Earlier? Later? Likely, it never started & will never end. Likely it just is. Like water, which transforms through many cycles: clouds, to rain, to rivers, to oceans, to clouds again (and so much in between), I am guessing my journey doesn’t begin or end, it cycles, perhaps, spirals.

My son, the last of three, headed to college a week ago today. No longer do I have a place I have to be, or a person I have to show up for. After 30 years, my entire adult life, my children are no longer the focus of my choices. I see the world opening to me in ways never has before.

Last week, on the table of my spiritual mentor, I saw a path before me.

I was waking into a day where I was meeting with sisters…and listening to them. YES. I would hear their stories of leadership, challenge, success, becoming, restoring, discovering, knowing. YES. I would share their stories with other women so that they too could become empowered to listen to their WIL and follow with courage and power. YES. I would be one sister in many, participating in and creating the web of connection, energy and power, weaving as I travelled across the globe from one spot on earth to another, from one woman to another, a web of feminine power, for a world of collaboration, connection and care to flourish.

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But how?

My plan is to move my focus on “getting clients” and getting paid by the hour for my time, and instead focus on simply listening, writing, and connecting. SCARY! It means trusting my process. I like having financial security. I like knowing “if I work this many hours I will make this much money”. This path means not knowing. I HAVE to be financially successful. I HAVE to keep my focus on my listening and let that drive me. This sounds hard.

I have always put my children and my intimate relationships first in my decision processes. Now…I have to make this project matter. Will I have anyone in my life to come home to?

Will I have a home? I want to leave my home and go on the road. That idea is soooo crazy to me. Perhaps because I grew up without much stability, or sense of home, I have spent my entire adult life nurturing a home for my family to flourish in. Now, here I am, telling the world I am going to leave my home and live with no home except that which I carry in my heart. That’s terrifying and so out of my comfort and zone of experience…that…well I can’t even find words to describe it.

Terror and mind blowing excitement. This is how I know this is the perfect path for me. Because that’s what the beginning of a journey of power should be, terrifying and exciting. The terror is there because the stakes are high and I will have to become more than I currently am in order to succeed. The excitement is there because the stakes are high and I know the rewards are greater than I can imagine.

My dear sister…you are reading my words. In so doing you are on this path with me. Your story fuels me and all your sisters. What could you do which would push you beyond your comfort level, maybe even beyond what you think is possible, AND which would, if you could surrender to it, blow your mind, body and soul with excitement? What kind of support would you need to do that thing?

Richard Back said, “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.” We must let ourselves dream sister….sister…and then we must spend forever making those dreams come true.

With love and gratitude,


Special thanks to Verlyn, Angel Light, Intuitive Healer for her guidance over the years.